In today’s class, we turn our attention to theology, and the difference between the Immaculate Conception and the Virgin Birth, two topics lay people and students often confuse. Do you know which US presidents have the been the object of assassination attempts? And which US president once gave a speech with a newly lodged bullet in his chest? (Clue: he is your instructor’s favorite president!) Hopefully these grades will not also suffer assassination, and one of these students will find themselves alive, well, and the winner of today’s Golden Banana!
Americans are famous for their lack of knowledge about world geography, do YOU know what border has the most crossings per year? The grades will be especially harsh if these students don’t know anything about one of the USA’s closest allies! Sports fans watch ESPN every day, but what do you really know about it? And young ladies, lovers, and Frenchmen love flowers, but here’s an odd question: which came first, flowers or dinosaurs?? Flowers may indeed blossom, but if these grades don’t flourish how will I, you’re humble professor, pick one to receive the coveted classroom prize, The Golden Banana?
Pluto is not a planet anymore?? Then what the heck is it? For all intensive purposes, all intensive purposes is actually an eggcorn of all intents and purposes. And what is the difference between an eggcorn and a malapropism? Do you have a ZIP code? Yes, you do, but do you know what it means? This is the first class in which each one of my questions has a comedian mascot! What the heck, bonus points for anyone who can come up with an eggcorn for the Golden Banana will win it!
Do you have top secret clearance?? In fact, so many people in this country do have it, maybe you do and don’t even realize it!! Find out what our students know about security clearances, and whether or not we have to kill them after (or, at least flunk them!). Also, the Eiffel Tower is one of the most famous structures in the world—but what do you REALLY know about it? In the end, one of these fine students will win the coveted classroom prize, the Golden Banana (but are we allowed to tell you who it is?).
These students will discuss the recessive paradox of giving constructive criticism about giving constructive criticism. They also answer questions about the truth behind the urban legend of a munchkin suicide in the Wizard of Oz? Other topics include rate of digestion and how to read a map correctly. Which student will distinguish themselves enough to win the coveted classroom prize, the Golden Banana?
Who supposedly “took an axe and gave her mother forty whacks”? Don’t know? Neither did these students! Do you know when and where batteries were first invented? NO? Neither did these students!! Before modern psychology and medicine Europe had the theory of the four humours. Can you name them, and their supposed effects?? Don’t worry, neither can these students. In what might be a first, the Professor has to make a life changing decision, Whether or not any of these students have earned the right to claim the coveted classroom prize, the Golden Banana.
The Professor shares one of his pet peeves with the students: is noon 12am or 12pm??? The correct answer may surprise and annoy you! If hard questions make you “thor” how will hard questions about Thor make you feel? And what do these students know about the most famous painting of all time, including “What is the most famous painting of all time?” Based on their answers to these and other questions, one of these students is sure to win the coveted classroom prize, the Golden Banana.
The only thing scarier than zombies is test questions about zombies. And the only thing scarier than test questions about zombies is students who don’t even know basic traffic laws. Do you know why traffic signs are colored the way they are?? Hmmmm? Well, do you? Well, find out if any of today’s students do, too, and if any of them will get a grade high enough to earn them the coveted classroom prize, the Golden Banana.
In this quiz we will find out what you know about the time of dinosaurs. Hopefully more than these students do! Also, do you have any idea how much junk is in orbit around our precious blue orb?? If not, you won’t be getting a very good grade. Listen to these eager young learners as they compete for the coveted classroom prize The Golden Banana.
Are you a “geek” or a “nerd”? By the end of this class, you’ll know. Do you know what man-made structure can be seen from space? No you don’t, and neither does Trivial Pursuit. And, the coveted classroom prize the Golden Banana is on the line as student’s test their knowledge of Shakespeare Trivia.
Gold Star Classroom is surely the Eighth Wonder of the Podcast World, but do you know the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, but do you? And do these students? Which one of the Seven Wonders still stands today? Did people really used to sign their name “XX”? What the heck does that mean anyway? And, is it ironic that a room full of comics don’t know what irony actually is? It won’t be ironic when one of them wins the coveted classroom prize, the Golden Banana, or will it???
Some people think TV dumbs people down, but in this class we will use TV to smart people up. Do you know when the first color Television show was broadcast? These students also learn how grimy their homes are, and which surfaces in your house have the most germs. Its not disgusting if it is true! When all the questions have been asked, and all of the silences have been filled, which student will receive the coveted classroom prize, the Golden Banana???
This class explores one of the most important inventions of all time: TOILET PAPER. Also, what is the oldest country in the world??? While students struggle with topics such as these, another mystery is tackled when one student asks Gold Star Classroom’s host Dr. Jerry Jaffe if he really is a “Dr” and what his PhD is actually in. The mystery is revealed on this episode!!! Will this student’s clever table-turning be clever enough to earn him the Golden Banana???
How many zeros are in a trillion, how many cells do you have?? And how many cells does the world’s largest person have??? And, WOW, how much of YOUR body is made up of bacteria??? This is a germ of a good idea, let it multiply and grow, like a pleasant itch you have to scratch. And—what could Dr. Meredith possibly say that would earn him a bonus 5 points?? And will that be enough to garner hi the coveted golden banana?? Welcome to episode 1.9!
Today’s class is confronted by one of the weirdest urban legends in the world (do electric fans kill people?) and one of the weirdest hypothesis in science (what do you know about the aquatic ape theory??). If you know movies, you might do better than these students, as they tackle some of the worst horror films of all time. Is there any creature if made giant is LESS scary?? Questions about giant monsters, maybe, but the grades in this class are REALLY frightening, because how tiny they are! Who will earn the coveted golden banana?
Robert Coleman, Jr
This year at the 2013 Cleveland Comedy Festival we were able to record a special episode featuring several of the participating comics. We had such a blast we wanted to get it out as a special episode, so here it is, our way of ringing in the New Year with you.
What was the name of the famous freighter that sank on Lake Erie in 1975, and what was the name of the famous song about the famous freighter that sank on Lake Erie? Or, do you know which country is the current reigning gold medalist of Rugby? Don’t worry, they didn’t know either!! And we try to figure out what trivia actually is…Nonetheless, one of them will receive the coveted class room prize, the Golden Banana, if only by default!
Dr. Thomas Davis
Have you ever done anything in a jiffy? Probably not, as these students find out!! And what does Machine Gun Kelly have in common with William Shakespeare? (You might be surprised!) We will discover the stripes of these students, when they discover the stripes of Zebra (white and black, or black and white???). We also explore if falling pianos ever really kill anybody! The dazzling display of intellectual dandruff ends with one of these students winning the coveted classroom prize the Golden Banana.
Our quest to combine edutaining trivia and facts with comedy and wit continues stronger than ever! In this installment our students confront a movie myth—is it bad to have sex before a sporting event?? And, if you worry about your weight, where is the best place on earth to weigh yourself?
After 20 years of teaching, I’ve never seen a class without a head before, but in this class the students try to figure out what you can do without one. We find out how many ways these students know how to say “I love you.” And, although our students are not expected to say the pledge, they are expected to know the history of the US flag. Is there anything these four guys get right?? One of them will be awarded the coveted classroom prize, The Golden Banana!
Jim Jay Blackhawk
Episode 3 features a wild brand of weird questions and weirder students. What do you know about the Moon? Or Theia? Other topics that befuddle the assembled students are: What two famous roles did Sean Connery turn down? Is anything else in this crazy world real, anyway? Who will win the coveted Golden Banana classroom prize--and which student gets the world's first DD?
Welcome to our second episode. The questions get harder and the students funnier! Quiz questions today include, “Where do letter grades come from, anyway?” Other topics that befuddle the assembled students are: the American Revolutionary war and 20th century American art.
Deborah Schulman, PhD
We would like to introduce you to the first episode of this fun new podcast. Our goal is to combine edutaining trivia and facts with comedy and wit. In this first installment our students struggle with topics such as Human Sexuality, the American Civil War, and the meaning of the proverb “Hoist on your own petard.” Also, what exactly is a hoochie coochie? Who invented the pogo?